it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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