Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
