If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
