We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
zippers are such a cool invention
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
