Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
