Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
