they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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