i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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