you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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