Christians are straight up FREAKS
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
