You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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