what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Less talking, more tequila
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
