i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
