We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
