Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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