Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
