Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
