Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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