So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
