I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
