Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
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