at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
