Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
