So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm bleeding and have questions
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
