Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
This house was built for laser tag.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize