You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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