Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
