Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
