Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
