i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
