In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
