He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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