So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
