Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
