You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
