I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
