I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
