I look better un-naked...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
