this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
