If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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