oh god the rape fog is back!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
