think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
