dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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