hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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