Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I came so hard my ears popped.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
