My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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