Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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