question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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