what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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