foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
