i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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