thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
