hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
